It is 5:00 am and the sun is rising on my new day,
A new day, A new life of authenticity.
My new life of Power.
People who know me well know that I never get up at this hour!
My initial feeling, as I am getting out of bed on this cold winter morning,
is anger and frustration.
I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.
I feel the same, never ending, never changing pattern,
the pattern of my father making fun of my singing when I was a child.
This same issue of having no one who believes in me,
of having no one to support my precious and unique gifts.
When I was very young I was so brainwashed by my fathers’ criticisms and hurtful words, (words that ingrained themselves into my deepest subconscious)
that I had to sing in the closet in my bedroom in order not to be heard.
(a true closet case!)
It would be such an easy thing to blame him for all my failures in life.
After all, did he or did he not ridicule the very thing that I loved to do?
This is a case of my own karma, plain and simple.
Why was I born into this family?
Karma = Mission
This is no one’s dilemma but my own.
Forgiveness is not even an issue here as these circumstances were perfectly intended by my loving soul to create this unique experience for me.
This life situation was meant to be used as a driving force for my growth, for my self esteem, for my talents.
There is no blame!
There is only the clear mirror of my own life revealing to me what I need to give myself.
If I don’t feel support then I need to support myself.
If I don’t feel respect then I need to respect my own life.
If no one believes in me well…guess what?
I obviously don’t believe in myself!
These are the epiphanies I received today, (late December 2013),
just before Xmas, just before the New Year:
1. Blame nothing or no one for the state that my life, world is in!
(This means not blaming money or rather lack of it, not blaming the economy, not blaming my husband, my friends, my deceased parents etc.
2. Take the bull by the horns and assume complete & full responsibility for my own life and everything in it!
3. Stand behind myself! No matter what!
4. Stop the excuses!
5. Stop giving away my power!
6. Pay attention!
Every negative feeling I am feeling,
every negative event
is telling me what I need to do for myself,
to make all my dreams come true.
This is poison to medicine.
7. I am not doing anything wrong! It is all perfect!
This waging a war on my own negative thoughts
is the greatest training ground for my life!
Weight resistance makes muscles!
It all comes from inside.
After this great realization I felt so light and free that words are completely inadequate to describe.
This is the most singular, empowering thought, belief that one could ever have and I felt it down to my bones.
I am writing this today for myself.
to remind me of the greatness and power of my own life.
Always feel free to share this or any of my blogs that inspire you as to your own Magnificence.
You are perfect just the way you are.