Just another WordPress.com weblog

Antidote to Depression

jpgFrom the book “

“The Woman’s book of creativity” by: C. Diane Ealy, Ph D

I   B.B.,  am now peeling layers of the onion that covers my very soul.

 I am delving into and clarifying the core issues that have, until this moment, held me back.

 I am now releasing them forever!

From the book “The Woman’s book of creativity” by: C. Diane Ealy, Ph D

Page 97, Chapter on:

 Understanding the Creative/Depressive Cycle*

*note: There are many different causes of depression. If under a doctor’s care for depression, please discuss this chapter with her or him before proceeding.

 

“The penalties for repressing creativity are heavy.

Any natural part of the human psyche needs to be expressed, and ideally we provide a healthy outlet for this expression.

But if the function is stifled it will manifest itself negatively.”

The energy residing in our creative selves is extremely powerful.

Failing to direct our creativity in a positive way means it will reveal itself in unhealthy behaviors.

One way or the other, our creative energy will make itself felt in our lives.”

 

My own notes on this chapter.

This wonderful book discusses repression of our creativity as young girls. 

Those of us who grew up in dysfunctional homes, {non supportive environments, peer pressure} learned early on that in order to fit in we needed to completely repress our true selves, our natural and healthy creative urges.

We were negatively programmed that our ideas were “no good” foolish, ridiculous and so forth.

 This in turn alienated us from our true being, cutting off our emotions in the process.

As the author so aptly states “She becomes depressed, her psyche thrown into grieving for the lost self.”

As adults we show symptoms of this such as:

  • Self doubt
  • Feelings of inadequacy
  • Unappreciative of our successes
  • Dependency on others
  • Insecurity
  • Codependency
  • A feeling of being less than what we could be
  • Discounting accomplishments which reinforces low self-esteem
  • Uneasiness
  • Self sacrificing (doing for others out of a sense of obligation)
  • Addiction

 

Quote from the author:

“Repressed creativity can also express itself in

overwhelming stress,

severe neurotic or even psychotic behavior,

and addictive behaviors such as alcoholism.”

 

Depression with a capital “D”!!!

 

Another quote from the author:

“Learning how to give expression to creativity can be

antidote to depression.”

 

Today, as in answer to my prayer, this book found me in the local library.

This local library is in the middle of the desert!

This town is so small that the library is only open a couple days and they have only one computer for the whole town.

So while I was waiting to use the computer this book and this Chapter on:

 Understanding the Creative/Depressive Cycle*

jumped out and caught my attention.

For quite some time now I had been angry and depressed. I am a performing artist. (With no work at the moment) no way to express my art.

Upon seeing this book I KNEW this was an important moment for my life!

I TURNED IMMEDIATELY TO THIS CHAPTER!

One suggestion in this book as an antidote for stress and depression was to go out into Nature and perform some physical activities such as hiking or swimming etc.

I followed this today and went for a 2 hour hike in the desert wilderness.

This helped tremendously.

As I sat down to do my evening prayers I saw with great clarity the times in my life when I was ridiculed for my art.

I have shared the experience of having to sing in my closet thus hiding from my parent’s negative comments, with countless numbers of my singing students.

Another incident  arose in my consciousness:

I recalled composing a Song called “Say Yes even Harder” as a result of this same type of criticism.

I was staying at my parents home on a lake in Virginia and one one evening, feeling very proud of a review that appeared in the N.Y.C. Newspaper “Show business” about my music show, I wanted to share this victory with my niece. My mother barged in on us and began to berate me with “Why are you bothering her with this?” “I’m sure she is not interested in this nonsense!”

My Mom said this was NONSENSE!

Oh how this cruel thing she said broke my heart!

And so as I mentioned I created the song “Say Yes even Harder” to express my hurt feelings.

Now afterwards, where I experienced this sort of dream-state where I relived this moment, I feel better. 

This Self- knowledge and clarity has lightened me in a way I never would have dreamed of.

I would even go so far to say that this kind of self reflection facilitates a “spontaneous healing.”

I have such a love for my parents now that forgiveness isn’t even an issue.

 I know that they were in my life to teach me a very powerful truth.

For more about this kind of forgiveness I highly recommend the book

“Radical Forgiveness” (making room for the miracle) by: Colin C. Tipping

In essence this book describes the idea that our soul lovingly creates situations that are painful so that we may change from the inside out. If we do not pay attention, then the pain will manifest itself over and over (through other people portraying the same role) getting worse and worse, until we listen!

Quotes from the book

“What do you mean by forgiveness?” Jill asked, still looking troubled. “Are you saying I should forgive him for seducing my best friend and anyone else he could find who was willing?”

“I am saying that at that time, he provided you with an opportunity to get in touch with your original pain and to see how a certain belief bout yourself was running your life. In so doing, he gave you the opportunity to understand and change your belief, thus healing your original pain. 

My thoughts:

Life is a mirror.

Life reflects back perfectly what we are, what and how we think about ourselves.

If someone comes into our lives causing us distress and pain then they are our greatest teachers!

Something I heard this past summer, at a S.G.I Buddhist meeting, completely woke me up!

*“Rather than offering up ten thousand prayers for remedy, is the one prayer to extinguish evil.

Pray to extinguish the one evil in my life!

“Let me do my Human Revolution (inner transformation) so that I can help others.”

*Note not a direct quote from the Gosho (but a way to interpret it.

Gosho: The Writings of Nichiren Daishonin

Rissho Ankoku Ron

 

I found the answer to my prayer!

 My one evil.

I am now identifying “The stuff” inside of me that,

up until now,

has been reflecting itself back into my world.

“This stuff” , which manifested itself in undesirable outcomes in my life,

is now being released forever more!

I am free!

for more about this amazing philosophy of Buddhism

http://www.sgi.org/

My song “Say Yes even Harder!”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XoGPey_olT8&feature=share&list=UUvz7f0RXxe4QkeTa2QEtfCQ

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Comments on: "Antidote to Depression" (2)

  1. Reblogged this on Bbberg's Blog and commented:

    Epiphanies abounding today July 14th 2013. Part of this clarity about breaking down the walls in my life is in this article.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: