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The Art of Detaching with Love

The Art of Detaching with Love

“Detachment allows us to let go of our obsession with another’s behavior and begin to lead happier and more manageable lives, lives with dignity and rights, lives guided by a power greater than ourselves.”Pg. 43  Courage to Change

from ALANON STUDY material

I have found within myself a space in my heart of pure serenity and calm . Whenever I get the “tug” to meddle in someone else’s business, I go to this place and center myself. From that moment on everything flows beautifully and in the way it needs to go.

My need for control is merely my ego, my lack of faith in my prayers and my need for false self-esteem. When I truly surrender to my higher power, my Buddha nature, and trust it implicitly, I release this need and allow whomever it is I want to control to go thru their own lessons and journey. This not only frees me but also prevents me from making a terrible cause by robbing someone of their own unique experience and lessons.  An important, perhaps even life saving, lesson. An experience that they undoubtedly need to go through and learn from. ~This is life-changing!  This is the way to truly help others!~

If I keep putting pillows down when another falls,they will never,ever hit their head hard enough to WAKE UP!

I call these feelings “tugs” because that is how they feel. They tug me in the direction of rescuing, controlling and other codependent behaviors. Many other factors come into play in these “tugs”. The need to be right is a big one. I saw one day clearly that I had an addiction to the need to be right. I’m sure it manufactured some stimulating chemicals in my brain that got me high. Careful observation of ones mind can reveal so many truths about our own behavior. I’m sure that all the worry I created for myself about the other people in my life became an unhealthy source of companionship to me. I was essentially addicted to the worry. What on earth would I fill those lonely hours with? As I’ve learned now, I fill them with self love. The more I love myself, the more I can freely let go of control. I am healthier and happier for this and contribute much more to the world from this healthy, happy place.

B.B. Berg April 13th 2010


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